Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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