they need to just BURY HIM!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
