We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
