so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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