True but thats because hes a fetus.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
