two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Pants are for mortals
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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