It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
