that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
