There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
do nipples grow back?
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