This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
