My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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