he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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