He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize