I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize