u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
