I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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