if you like me you must not know who I am
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize