Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
