are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
