i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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