This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
