Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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