If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
