She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize