They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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