Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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