I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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