Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
