he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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