I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think my fart just growled at me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
