please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
