i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
