I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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