I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
