I want to make a zoo with you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize