My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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