this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Someone came in the potted fern
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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