Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
