so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
