You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
