You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
