Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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