this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
