Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
