Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think i have herpe
just one?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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