I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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