When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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