Quick, to the slutcave!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
