This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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