i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
