Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
