HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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