bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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