its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
