Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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